I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think your dad took our porno
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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