In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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