I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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