So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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