i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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