Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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