I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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