I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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