I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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