I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
