I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
