I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
