Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
