you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
