White coat. Heels.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
