My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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