I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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