Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
