Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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