It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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