it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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