I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
