she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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