i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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