I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
