gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
