Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
