Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
