well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
