Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
