Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
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