So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
this just has baby written all over it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize