I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
