okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
