yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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