I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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