Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
