is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
