i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
