After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
