I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
