Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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