I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
