I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
