I cockslap morals
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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