Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
