Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
