So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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