Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize