woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
