The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
