If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize