Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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