how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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