Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
