are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
