No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
