So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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