Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
