I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
