Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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