is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
