she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
