I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
