you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
