4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
