i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
