yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
